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Soundtrack

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The “Pato” Play (2023-24)

ONCE UPON A TIME, there lived a Golden Taco. It was a powerful, kind, strong, smart taco–and golden, of course. The Golden Taco lived in a castle in the Czech Republic, which was guarded by three of King Duo’s knights (Duo, as in the Duolingo owl). The Taco was very happy, but one day, on the darkest of days…

The ground trembled and the trees shook as “Bad Apple“, suffering from a case of Acute Boredom, arrived at an alarming decision: “I don’t want to roll”. As he is an apple, his primary mode of transportation is rolling… which never gets him too far. But he has an evil mission (thanks to the Acute Boredom), and nothing will deter him! So he rolls to Japan with his evil bestie, Bad Pineapple, and recruits ninjas to help him steal the coveted Golden Taco. A brief ninja warrior battle scene ensues.

The ninjas are found to be adequately skilled and trustworthy; shortly thereafter, Bad Apple, Bad Pineapple, and the Ninjas are all on an aircraft headed to the Czech Republic.

The group’s evil plans are of the last-minute variety (they brainstorm outside of the castle walls), but crafty indeed–and slowly, the line of defense guarding the castle breaks down. The first guard is sneezed at, and runs away to CVS for Kleenex. The second guard sees a [ninja-trained] squirrel and chases after it, promising to return shortly. The third guard is fast asleep, but enthusiastically dream-singing about Don Quijote–the Knight of all Knights.

The ninjas comment that this is too easy as they sneak into the castle, tip-toe past King Duo (who is obsessively trying to earn 10,000 XP on the Duolingo app and doesn’t notice), and easily kidnap the Golden Taco.

When King Duo’s iPad needs to be charged, he realizes that the Golden Taco is missing. Intending to call a world-renowned Detective Agency, he mistakenly dials the number of an Argentinean pizzeria instead… of which Oso is the manager. When Oso hears that the Golden Taco has been stolen, he immediately makes a call–and Pato is on the case.

The lurking question of Bad Apple’s motive is answered in the next scene.

Here, Bad Apple proceeds to “grill” the Golden Taco, demanding–interrogation style–the recipe and ingredients for the Perfect Taco. The more questions Bad Apple asks, the weaker the Golden Taco gets. Oh no! Time is of the essence! But the truth has become clear now: Bad Apple wants to start his own restaurant.

Meanwhile, Pato is thinking as hard as a stuffed animal duck possibly can. That’s Agent Pato, to you! Yes, my apologies: Agent Pato is thinking as hard as a stuffed animal duck possibly can. Thankfully, not much thinking is required, as he soon chances upon a trail of cheese–the first clue–and bumps into Billy la bufanda (Billy the Scarf).

Aha! It was Billy! The police interrogate, but The Pink Boots clear his name. Billy had an alibi at the time of the crime.

Not long after, Agent Pato finds another clue: a trail of lettuce. At the same moment, he receives a letter from a friend in Puerto Rico. Wait, the monster Fluphball lives in Puerto Rico! Maybe it was Fluphball!

As the police interrogate Fluphball–who is notorious for swiping things to add to his collections–Bad Apple and Bad Pineapple saunter by, highly focused and rhythmically chanting, “Shell, lettuce, meat, cheese… what else?”

Agent Pato and friends witness the same strange scene moments later. They put two and two together and realize that Fluphball is not at fault–at least not this time. It’s got to be Bad Apple and friends enemies, but how will Agent Pato and the police catch them? And will the Golden Taco be rescued in time?

Come see the play to watch the suprise ending!